Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
