well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
