i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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