Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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