dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
