I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
