i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
