so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
