Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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