Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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