She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
