My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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