Screwed.edu
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
