fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
