is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
