I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
