your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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