Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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