so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
