i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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