Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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