So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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