at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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