Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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