You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
