You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
