I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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