Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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