I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Randomize
