He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
