you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
