I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
