just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
