And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
