I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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