Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
