i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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