but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
