I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do herpes really smell.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
