My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
