Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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