i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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