If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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