And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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