i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
