hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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