I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
