what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
