Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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