he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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