i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
