Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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