thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
